/lain/ - serial experiments lain


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Whenever I come across Duvet again it touches my core every time, and I feel connected with Lain.  I remember the Summer I watched it and it impacted as deeply then as it does now, I look back on it fondly.  I'm not the biggest fan of the show compared to how much other people devote themselves to Lain or even technologically adept but I resonate deeply with her and feel a bond to people who have Lain as their profile pictures depending if they didn't choose her for aesthetics or "she's just like me!" Tumblr shit.  I can't relate to people who worship her though, it comes off to me like they're worshiping a material object like many cults do but I have never worshiped anything before and don't know what it's like.  I feel like she wouldn't care about me in reality and that the obligations of godhood would leave me ignored but that's my own insecurity, selfishness, and lack of faith.

I like what this guy had to say about her; an example.
>I took a year to grow out a Lain hair strand at the left side of my head. Lain became a character really important to me that I could relate to. Due to a mental disorder, I have a very poor sense of self and I feel like I don't know who I am. I relate so much with Lain that I kind of identify as her. I watched Serial Experiments Lain so much to cope with trauma I was dealing with from highschool to now. I got her hair clip online to put in my hair to even more resemble her hairstyle. However, even though it was important for me to have the hair strand, I cut it off yesterday because I couldn't handle people insulting me and distancing themselves from me over a little piece of hair on the side of my head. For some reason, something dear to me made it hard for me to connect with others because looking even slightly different is deemed "socially unacceptable". If I was a girl, maybe people wouldn't care as much and I could of pulled it off. People expect others to be like them. This society is very selfish and it hates itself so much that it tears people apart in order to feel better. Even though people judged me for the hairstyle I tried to keep it anyways but it kept being a burden. I feel like a sliced off an important part of my identity and I further don't know who I am. I tried all my life to care for myself and love myself but I've always been put down by others and I'm losing myself more and more. I never wanted to care what others thought of me but for whatever reason, I can't help it.
>It's fine though. I can grow it back, or better yet, get a clip on hair piece so I can have a Lain hairstyle anytime I want. Lain tried so much to reassure herself and others that she is herself, that she has a real self and her evil wired persona isn't the real her, but really she felt like she didn't have a real self and that she was a terrible person because of the actions her wired self did that would ruin her friendships, like with Arisu. Someday, I want to be able to say "I am me" confidently and truthfully, and be able to connect with others and maintain healthy, long relationships without destroying them.

It's a queer passage but I have some sympathy for the person who wrote it anyway.  Sorry if this doesn't make grammatical sense I have trouble expressing myself and want to see if I will get a reciprocation.
Replies: >>615
>>553 (OP) 
To some extent "she's just like me" tumbler shit plays a role in all love of lain. Aristotle tells us friendship is born either of common interests, or, far better, of common virtues strived towards. You will only like lain if you like what she does or represents, and you will only like these things if you participate in them to some extent, even if it is only being a fan of them. Perhaps when we talk about "she's just like me" types what we're really talking about is those who worship those who do not better them in our eyes. A knight who is worshiped the legendary ancient king of his country might be said to have good role models, where the wojack poster is said to be stuck in just like me mode because we do not care for their stewing in depression or love of 'goth girls' or some such.

I personally see disbelief in self as a mixed blessing. Sure I'm less motivated, since I know my future 'self' will be different from me, and all those who conflict with me are correct in their own world, but it's far more realistic than the belief that only you are connected to the objective good. It's easy to imagine how we might be others had we had their lives, and the shear ridiculous chances that result in us being on one side of human conflict instead of others. I believe that only by trancending our personalities and creating one personality for all of sentient life can we truly escape the greatest foolishness of conflict born of identiy.
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